Frequently Asked Questions - Part 1
Credit: Jon Tyson at Unsplash
I've now been a public speaking coach for a couple of years, and here are some of the questions I've gotten...roughly a bazillion times.
In no particular order:
Q: So can you really help me/him/her/it beat stage fright?
A: Nope! I'm not a psychologist. I can't directly do anything about your anxiety or lack of confidence. What I CAN do, is teach you some of the acting techniques I learned at drama school. Often, that builds people’s confidence anyway, BUT it’s not something I ‘offer’ per se. All I can do is teach you some kick-ass skills. How you end up feeling about them/yourself is on you. The most important part is: your audience doesn't need to see you sweat - and once you learn HOW to connect with them, you can do it regardless of how you feel in that moment.
Q: But what about 'mindset'/'confidence'?? Aren't they important?
A: Nope! They really aren't. At drama school we had zero 'mindset' modules, and we never sat around crying abour our 'limiting beliefs' or 'inner blocks'. We simply learned some technical skills (breath control, voice control, body language, language-language) that made us good performers and storytellers.
Q: But a lot of people say mindset IS really important!
A: Well, those ‘ alot of people’ are wrong. Also, consider this: the audience doesn't give a single crap about your 'mindset'. They are there for themselves, not you. So if they're giving you their time, they want something valuable in return. 'Cause who likes feeling cheated?! And 'watching you feel yourself' isn't much of a reward for those of us watching. We need you to be GOOD, not mindset to Jupiter and back.
Q: Why do you hate mindset so much? You're always ranting about it.
A: I don't hate it per se. I just hate how
A. it's become the go-to non-answer for every amateur 'coach' who doesn't have REAL strategies to give you ('didn't get results from my Patented Seven Steps For Seven Figures In Seven Days Formula? Must be your bad miiiindset!'), and
B. it's abused by laypeople who don't even know what it means (hence why what's being peddled as 'mindset' is often straight-up woo-woo like 'manifesting' and 'vibrations'). If you pay attention, it's rarely ever psychologists/-iatrists who ramble on and on about f-cking 'mindset'. Coincidence?
Q: Can I improve my public speaking without hiring a coach like you?
A: Probably. But it'll cost you a ton of extra time, energy, and frustration. And you’ll still not get beyond a certain level. Kinda like when I tried to DIY my marketing (spoiler alert: did NOT go well - shockingly, trying to self-teach/feedback on something you don't understand and have no natural talent for...is not a great strategy).
Q: OK, so I want to try DIYing it a bit because I'm broke/don't have the time to get coached/don't like your smug face.
A: Start by recording yourself every day, even for just a 30-second elevator pitch. Look straight into the lens. Rehearse what you want to say so it becomes muscle memory (you'll very likely go blank once you hit 'Record'). Do it for at least a week, and watch the progress back. Have someone *whose opinion you can trust* (so not your mom, or that sickeningly sweet friend who thinks every single thing ever is 'amazing, love xx') give you feedback. Repeat. You can thank my smug face later.